The curtain opens on the 21st birthday celebration of the pirate’s apprentice, Frederic, who as an adult, is now a full-fledged member of the pirate band. But Frederic announces that he will leave the pirates immediately. He had done his best for the pirates until now only out of his deep devotion to his duty under his apprenticeship which, after all, had been a mistake. The pirates are deeply wounded, and Ruth, Frederic’s nanny, explains. She had been directed by Frederic’s father to apprentice Frederic to a pilot*, but misheard, and bound him to a pirate instead.
Frederic forgives Ruth her mistake, and addresses the pirates: “Individually, I love you all with affection unspeakable, but, collectively, I look upon you with a disgust that amounts to absolute detestation.” He tearfully vows to exterminate them all. But, since the time is only half-past eleven and he is a pirate until twelve, he explains why they don’t make very good pirates: their reputation for being softhearted towards orphans (for they are all orphans themselves) has gotten about, so that every person captured claims to be an orphan and invokes the pirates’ mercy.
Ruth is worried about her own fate, and proposes herself in marriage to Frederic. Frederic accepts, but with some reservation. Ruth is the only woman he knows; what if he meets another and finds out that Ruth is plain? The pirates, only too glad to let her go, assure him that “there are the remains of a fine woman about Ruth.” The Pirate King bids Ruth and Frederic farewell, joyously returning to his pirate’s life.
Left alone, Frederic seeks reassurances from Ruth about their upcoming alliance, which she gives as best she can without outright lying. They are interrupted by singing voices, and Frederic spies a group of beautiful young women. Looking upon them, he realizes he has been tricked by Ruth and dismisses her. Frederic, ashamed of his piratical appearance, hides from the approaching young women.
Major-General Stanley’s daughters enter, seeking a secluded spot on the beach. Seeing them about to take off their shoes and play in the water (how indecent!), Frederic reveals himself to them. The daughters are frightened of him as a pirate, but attracted to his youthful good looks. He proposes marriage to all of them at once, but they reject him. Suddenly, Mabel appears. She is another of the Major-General’s daughters, and she is astonishingly beautiful. She chides her sisters for their lack of pity, and consoles Frederic. They quickly fall in love!
Frederic hears the pirates approaching, and urges the daughters to flee before they arrive. But they stand so long singing about their need to escape that they fail to actually do so. The pirates capture the girls, and threaten to carry the girls off to a minister and marry them on the spot. Mabel stops them, warning them that their father is a Major-General who appears right on cue, boasting of his knowledge and abilities. The Major-General begs the pirates not to rob him of his daughters, as he is (of course) an “orphan boy”. The pirates let him go, and everybody celebrates, except poor abandoned Ruth, as the curtain falls.
As Act Two opens, the Major-General’s daughters try to comfort him. He is upset because he has dishonored his ancestors because he lied about being an orphan (to escape the pirates). Frederic reminds him that he has only recently bought his lands and title, including these so-called ancestors! The Major-General explains that there are indeed somebody’s ancestors buried on his land, and since he bought the land and all its contents, they are therefore his ancestors. The Major-General says he will be much more comfortable when Frederic has exterminated the pirates. Frederic summons his army of policemen, who are less than eager to go to battle. Mabel and the other daughters urge them on, and the policemen vow to go and do their duty. But they keep vowing for a long time before they are finally persuaded to go.
Frederic’s relief at finally atoning for his years of piracy is interrupted by none other than Ruth and the Pirate King. They know of Frederic’s love of jokes, and reveal a most clever one to him. It seems Frederic was born on Leap Day, February 29, which only comes once every four years. Frederick is twenty-one years old, therefore, but has had only five birthdays. Unfortunately, the terms of his pirate apprenticeship are until his twenty-first birthday. By the terms of his contract, he is still a pirate. Because he is now a pirate again, Frederic does his duty by informing the Pirate King of the Major-General’s deception. The Pirate King vows revenge.
Frederic is left alone with Mabel and he informs her of the sad situation. She begs him to ignore his duty but he cannot. They vow to remain true until Frederic is free to marry her - in 1940 (approximately 63 years later!) Frederic leaves to join the pirates, and Mabel, determined to go on, urges the policemen to fight the pirates even though their Frederic has switched sides. The policemen don’t like their job – after all, criminals are people too – but they set off to do it.
The pirates approach to get their revenge, and the policemen bravely hide. The pirates plot their burglary. Frederic quiets them as the Major-General approaches, kept from his sleep by a guilty conscience. Just as his daughters come out to comfort him, the pirates ambush them, and are in turn ambushed by the police. The pirates win the battle, but the sergeant of the police calls on them to yield “in Queen Victoria’s name”. The pirates surrender immediately, because “with all their faults, they love their queen.”
Before the pirates can be led away, Ruth steps forward and reveals that they are all noblemen who “have gone wrong”. The pirates are instantly forgiven, as “peers will be peers.” Frederic is reunited with Mabel, the pirates and daughters pair off, and there is a happy ending for all.
*In the 1800’s a pilot is a ships’ navigator (not an airline pilot!)
The show features some tunes that will be familiar including The Pirate King’s song (Oh Better Far to Live and Die), Poor Wandering One, and With Cat-Like Tread which includes the tune that the popular song “Hail, Hail the Gang’s all here” is based on! In true WSYT fashion we have also issued a challenge to our participants this summer. See the blog on the WSYT website for more details - write an additional verse to "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General" and your verse could win a prize!
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